Don’t Just Say “Goodbye,” Ask “Why?”

Very few people will stay with a single company for their entire career. YOU probably aren’t going to, so you certainly should not expect others to. That means you will be dealing with employee departures, and rather than getting mad that someone good is leaving (or throwing a party because someone bad is finally going), you should instead take the opportunity to learn from them before they walk out the door.

When the retention bonuses and counteroffers have failed, it’s helpful to understand why. Sometimes people leave because they are fleeing a bad situation, other times they leave because they simply want a change, and in other cases there may be an opportunity out there that’s simply too good to pass up. If you are losing one of your people, it’s important to know why so perhaps you can avoid losing others in the future, or so you can do things differently to boost business performance (and if you’re losing one of your poor performers, it would be helpful to understand why they performed poorly). Either way, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask.

That’s the big problem, of course: people are often afraid to ask. They are afraid the answers will reflect poorly upon them. (Of course, if you’re so worried people will have negative opinions about your leadership style, maybe you should reexamine your leadership style.) Look, rather than being afraid of the answer, recognize it as an opportunity to improve your understanding. It might be that you’re doing great, but another employer is doing something that maybe you should consider doing, too. It could also be that you or your company are doing something really wrong, and you need to fix it. Finally, of course, it might be that you’re doing everything right, but the employee’s life circumstances have changed and they simply need something different. You won’t know, of course, until you ask.

So, consider taking some time and at least asking these 5 questions:

What led you to start looking for another job, or to be open to a new job when a recruiter called you? This is the most valuable question you can ask, but managers may avoid it because they’re afraid the answer will be “Because I hate you.” It’s important to know why another opportunity seems so appealing. Maybe there is something really wrong with the way things get done in your organization, and a lot of other people are going to follow this one out the door; this could be your first warning. If they have a problem with something that could have been easily fixed – they have a new baby and don’t want to travel as much, for example – then the fact they did not talk to you about it before quitting suggests a communication problem. You need to understand why other organizations seem like a better option than yours.

Did you understand the organization’s goals, and how your work contributed to them? When you understand how your work contributes to something bigger, you’re more likely to take ownership of it and invest more in it. Do your people understand why they are doing what they’re doing? Employee engagement is a big challenge for many companies that can lead to retention issues, and a lack of understanding like this can be a big contributor to the problem. Put simply, if people feel like their work doesn’t matter, then leaving becomes no big deal, so try to understand your employees’ perspectives.

Did you get useful coaching and guidance for your professional development? This gives you an idea of whether employees see a future with your organization, or with someone else. Your stronger employees want to do more and do it better, and the leadership needs to support that. Too many leaders focus on coaching only for immediate business results without considering the employee’s longer-term interests. If you aren’t helping your employees grow, there’s probably someone else who will, and you need to be aware of that.

Did you feel your job description changed since you were hired, and if so, how did that affect you? In today’s workplace, the only constant is change. Anyone who is in a role for a few years is often doing something very different by the end of that tenure than they were doing at the start. Organizations often expect employees to roll with the change and adapt to the new role, without considering that if the employee is going to change, maybe the company also needs to change when it comes to things like training, resources, and even compensation. If you are expecting employees to change how they see their job, but you are not willing to change as well, then that indicates a possible problem that will only get worse.

What would make you consider returning to the company in the future? With all the job-hopping we see these days, it’s not uncommon for a departing employee to hop back to you a few years later. There are terms for this: “boomerangs,” “the Comeback Kids,” and others. There are advantages to this: a returning employee has an understanding of your organization and can become productive more quickly, and they have spent a few years getting developed at someone else’s expense. Before they go out the door, know what it would take to bring them back again, just in case you decide to.

Finally, once you conduct the exit interview, you need to do something with the information. If you have a conversation and then go on with your work without thinking about it again, you’ve wasted your time, not to mention wasting an opportunity. Ideally, your HR team will have someone who collects exit interview information and evaluates it for lessons, but if you don’t, then you need to do this yourself. When people walk out the door, there’s a reason, and if you can understand the reason, maybe you can slow the parade of people who might follow them out.