Personable, But Not Too Personal

I remember an incident about 5 years ago when I listened to someone in a nearby cubicle explaining Facebook to his supervisor (bless her heart) and then “friending” her. Knowing what I did about this guy’s life, I was not sure he really needed to be inviting his boss into his personal world.

I had not thought about this in a long time until last week when a manager at a financial firm mentioned something similar to me. His company is about to expand their use of Facebook in their B2C marketing, and he wondered about friending his boss. I advised against that, suggesting maybe he could set up a second, professional account instead, but he said he would probably never log into that second account, something I have heard from other folks before.

The question this creates for me is: if I am the boss, how much to I want to be a witness to my employees’ personal lives? How much do I really want to know???

The financial manager made the point that in past jobs he has always been most effective when he has gotten along well with his co-workers and bosses, sharing personal stories and talking about more than just work. This makes sense; you tend to work better with the people with whom you get along well.

But just how well do you need to get along to work effectively together? How far do you have to go? How much do you really need to blend your personal and professional lives?

Social networking sites are a key part of those questions. We often put out far more information on Facebook than we would ever discuss in the office. We also have less control over what gets communicated; friends can tag us in photos or post things to our walls that others can see, and by the time we know it is there, lots of people may have already seen it. Yes, you can adjust your privacy settings, but your employees may not think to do that or might not do it right, and suddenly you are looking at pictures of them drunk and half-naked on Saturday night while you are commuting to work on Monday. It is good to be personable at work, it helps people work together better, but we need to consider some limits as technology increases the potential for sharing information far beyond what we ever would have shared in the past.

So, be friendly with your employees Take an interest in their personal lives, without becoming a stalker. Know about the good things like a birthday coming up, or the bad things like a death in the family or trouble at home. Knowing your employees better will help you work with them better. But before you add them on Facebook or follow them on Instagram, ask yourself how much you really want to know about their personal lives.

And perhaps more importantly: how much do you want them knowing about yours?