Over the last three years I have gotten to know some of the top marathon runners in Singapore. Not only are they among the country’s best endurance runners, they also have full-time careers that involve demanding work, continuing professional development, and, some of them, frequent business travel. They all balance their professional roles with the demands of being an elite athlete.
These folks are not superheroes (at least, they don’t wear capes and masks), they are just people. So if they can do all that, why do so many of us have trouble with work-life balance?
It’s not uncommon to hear people complain about poor work-life balance, and it’s true that plenty of leaders may create an environment that makes such balance difficult. But it’s also worth looking at our own actions, to see if there are things we can change to be happier about how we spend our time.
So, before you lash out at your boss for making it impossible to have a personal life, first do a little self-evaluation and ask yourself some questions:
How do I spend my free time? You may feel like you never have time to do the things you want to do, so start by looking at the time you DO have and see what you’re doing with it. Are you spending time with your family, or are you going out for drinks with colleagues after work? Are you reading books, or are you spending more time thumbing your way through social media sites? Are you exercising in the evening, or are you watching TV? None of these activities are inherently good or bad, but if you say you want to do one thing and instead you do something else, you need to rethink how you spend your time. That leads to the next question…
What are my priorities? Once you have a good idea of how you are spending your time, ask yourself if the things you are doing are really the important things. Maybe they are; maybe, when you’re away from work, you are so tired that you just want to do simple things that don’t require a lot of thought rather than something that takes effort or planning…and there is nothing wrong with that. But if you want to be exercising, and instead you are watching TV, then you have a problem that’s not really being caused by your work. You need to figure out what it is that you want to do with your personal time, so that you can focus on doing that, and then if more free time opens up, well, then you can do the less important things. Of course, knowing your priorities leads you to another question…
Do my career choices align with my personal interests? We take a job for many reasons, but “It supports my hobbies” is not usually at the top of the list. Later, when we find it doesn’t support our personal interests, we often complain about the job, forgetting that we took it because of other reasons (the pay, the development opportunities, etc). If work-life balance is important to you, then consider making career decisions that enable your personal interests. If you want to perform in a community theater, then a job where you work the night shift won’t allow you to attend rehearsal. If you want to be there for your child’s football matches, then a job where you travel 75% of the time might not be ideal. You need to consider what’s most important to you, and make the job decisions that reflect those priorities. So as you look at what you’re doing professionally and what you’re doing personally, ask yourself…
What changes can I make to enjoy my life more? Those changes might come in how you spend your personal time, they might come in the career decisions you make, or they may come in the workarounds that help you make the best use of your time. Looking at the runners mentioned above, the frequent business travelers identify regular running routes in the cities where they travel the most, so they can keep up with their training. In some cases, they have encouraged the important people in their life to take an interest in running so that they can spend time together that way. How about you? What changes can you make to help you really enjoy your personal time the most? Do you need a new job, or just need to put down your phone and interact with the world around you?
Once you have figured out what you want, and what you can do to achieve it, THEN worry about how much time your boss is giving you.
None of this is to say that maintaining a good work-life balance is totally up to you, and that your leadership bears no responsibility for it. Your employer may be overly demanding, expecting far more than your job description (and your paycheck) would lead you to believe. However, before worrying about the things you don’t control, you should take charge of the things that you do. Only then should you look to someone else to make a change on your behalf. That’s true in a lot of things in life, and certainly true here.