When you come in as a new boss, you have a short time in which to establish your style. You will adjust that over time, of course, but you will always be adjusting from the position you laid out at the beginning. You never get to erase those first days from everyone’s minds, so it is important to get them right.

There is a philosophy that says it is better to be tough at first because you can always be easier later on, and people will respond well to that. The reverse is not typically true…the boss who is a softie in the beginning will most likely face confusion and resentment when toughening up later. It is generally better to be a bit more “in control” at first, and then loosen the reins later when you see how your employees perform and figure out who is really worth listening to and who is just in it for the paycheck. You will make it harder on yourself if you are too easygoing in the beginning, trying to be everyone’s buddy in those first few days. The boss who tells dirty jokes early on has a hard time holding people accountable for sexual harassment later, so be careful about the standards you set.

If you are seen as a tougher boss, your employees will appreciate your positive feedback more when they receive it later. Plenty of bosses seem to pat everyone on the back daily from Day One onwards, and so their compliments do not really mean much. More important to me early in my career was the boss I had who always addressed people by their last names…the first time he called me by my first name I got a bit of a rush and figured I had finally earned his confidence, or something like that. I could see progress in our relationship, which is hard to do if you start out all buddy-buddy with everyone…after all, where do you go from there?

This is not to say you should be a jerk when you walk in the door. Barking out demands, putting people down, yelling at your employees before you even learn their names…this does not create an image of a boss who is in charge, it instead makes you look like a jackass, and probably one who has got pretty low self confidence and is overcompensating for it. Try to establish your position firmly and professionally, not like a bully who is getting the first taste of authority.

All of this can be tougher, by the way, if you have been promoted from within the company. You already have an image, a reputation, a style that people know. What you need to remember, and what you need others to understand, is that “the employee” is gone and “the leader” is here, essentially a new person. Making THAT transition is a tricky thing, something that warrants its own discussion another time.